Her Addiction {Derek/S'bel}

[Bellatora]

It was late now. Very late indeed... But Iirla couldn't sleep. She looked at Vl'kan. Her official weyrmate. Thormyth had caught Izanycorth... What could have been more perfect...?

And yet there was a thought eating at her head. S'bel. It was always S'bel that snaked into her thoughts when things should be at there best... It was always him when she couldn't sleep... when she wondered about the past... if she was making the right choices... Faranth. If she didn't know any better... she'd say she was addicted...

However.... the thought in her mind right now... was that she needed to tell him. but.... Faranth... he would be angry to say the least. And she didn't know if she could go through with it without Vl'kan there at her back... But at the same time... what did it mean if she could not do it for herself? Probably nothing, right..?

Iirla slipped out of bed slowly, carefully, being sure not to disturb her weyrmate as she left the hall, looking back towards the dragons. Whatever happens... make sure no one finds out for sure...

Izanycorth didn't make a sound, but her eyes whirled red. She hated it when Hers did things like this....

Though, Izanycorth had no room to talk...

Iirla took a deep breath and slipped out into the hall, closing the door soundlessly behind her... and made her way to S'bel's weyr... She knocked lightly at the door... then a bit louder. She looked around to make sure no one - none of the drudges, no riders, no pets even, would see her. She couldn't let Vl'kan find out she went to see him... even if her intentions were pure.

[Elessar]

He was awake. He was always awake now. Sleep simply did not slide into his grasp as it once had... before the flight. Before the flight, he was as normal as any duty-bound Wingleader could be, if not a bit overly zealous when it came to duty.

Now... things were different. It was as if something inside of him had snapped when Iirla's Izanycorth twined herself with Vl'kan's Thormyth.

Laying on his bed in nothing but underclothes, the mere thought brought anger that was always bubbling right below the surface up to the top. In the corner of his Weyr, Maerath snarled, his eyes swirling red. Just as something had snapped, had broken in the rider, so had it in the Bonded, the dragon.

It had been less than forty-eight hours since the culmonation of Izanycorth's maiden flight, and neither dragon nor rider had slept or eaten since. S'bel laid on his bed, on top of the furs, staring at the ceiling, stewing in his anger, and Maerath laid curled in a corner, his mind completely blocked off from any contact, be it from S'bel or any other dragon trying to reach him.

They were broken.

S'bel had promised himself to Iirla, risked his life for her, and she turned her back on him time and time again. Maerath had promised to with Izanycorth's flight, and had even promised her his very life, and she rebuked him as if he were a child, or as if his words meant nothing... he meant nothing.

They were broken.

When S'bel heard the first soft knock, he knew it was her. who else would be sneaking to his Weyr at this hour? He ignored it, hoping she would go away, leave him alone to contemplate either running away or killing himself (both coward's acts), but she knocked again. He didn't get up to open the door for her. He didn't even raise his head. "Come in," he called, his voice cold. "It's open."

[Bellatora]

Iirla took a deep breath and stepped into the weyr. She looked at him on the bed and she felt a pang in her chest. He was hurt... broken even. "What are you going to do, S'bel...?" Her voice was so soft as she stood their in the dark of his weyr adn looked towards his bed, biting her lip. She felt a bit... scared honestly. He could easily hurt her and he very well might... he could be a violent man - especially when he was this angry.

She walked very slowly closer to him, feeling Praesent appear nearby and land on her shoulder, sending soothing feelings to her as he most often did. the flitter was such a good little one for her... She sighed... Little one. What about Vl'kan's child who rested in her womb now...? She felt torn all of a sudden. Hadn't she come to end this cycle? The thought was painful... she tried to make herself numb, but she couldn't quite do it.

"S'bel..." she whispered his name, pain evident in her voice - emotional pain. Well... that and the bruises and such from two nights earlier which were still healing... a flight where both victors were violent dragons did not make for a gentle or particularly loving night. She sported several bruises and marks of various kinds, shapes, and sizes...

She took a tentative step closer. She was grateful that Izanycorth remained quiet... but then she was still watching her mate... For now... She would be loyal to her garnet mate... but there was a chance that she would soon return her heart to the bronze... she had made him break her promise. She knew it... the queen had simply let her pride become quite a bit too much for her.

Iirla bit her lip and took another step closer to S'bel. What did she want to happen now? What did he want to happen? What would happen? She felt a tremor of fear run through her... When he was this angry... he was a bit frightening.

And what of all he had done for her... what of risking his life? His dragon's life...? Who else had done as much for her...? "Please... S'bel..." Her lips barely moved, she barely spoke. She barely could breathe.

[Elessar]

Her voice was soft, and she was scared... As she should be. His eyes were cold. Sitting up, he glared at the woman he loved. If looks could kill, Iirla would be lying on the floor of his Weyr, heart stopped, blood leaking from her broken body. He had the capacity to be voilent, and he was angry... no, he was more than angry. He was enraged.

She walked slower to him, and a small flitter landed on her shoulder. Iirla sighed, and S'bel hated her for showing weakness. She had no right, no right! to show weakness in front of him. It was him that had been wronged, him that had been cut down, beaten, broken, and she was the one showing weakness? How dare she!

His name was whispered, and pain was in her voice. S'bel stood up in one fluid, silent motion, his eyes as cold as ice, their normal cloudy composure whisked away as if a thunderstorm had rolled in and started shooting lightning. He noted bruises on her that lingered even two days later, and rage rose in his breast. How dare that... that... that boy hurt her! True, the dragons were involved, but that was no excuse!

Iirla took a wary step closer, and S'bel opened his mouth to tell her to get out, but no sound echoed from his mouth. He tried again, spluttering, and failed once more. Snarling, he turned, grabbed the nearest object to him, a clay bowl, and threw it at the wall. A mug, a plate, and another bowl followed, all aimed at Iirla, but missing on purpose.

He finally stopped, chest heaving, eyes wild in his rage-filled face, and stepped toward Iirla. Grabbing her by the elbows, he pulled her toward him and caught her in a fierce kiss, and kiss more passionate than they had ever shared before.

[Bellatora]

Iirla stared at him silently, her eyes growing wide... Especially as he started throwing things. She brought an arm up to protect her face and the other wrapped around her stomach to protect the growing life there... but Faranth... had he just missed? With everything he had thrown? It seemed to be so. She gulped and looked up just in time for him to take her by the elbows. She gave what could only be a slight yelp as she was pulled forward and pulled into a very passionate kiss. Faranth!

She pulled back against him for a moment, but... but... She parted her lips and went still, her eyes closing as she felt him crush her lips with his. Faranth... She gave him all he could want of her in that kiss. She couldn't stop herself...

The passion of his kiss said volumes to her, though... So many different things. Faranth... She was either in big trouble... No wait... she was going to be in big trouble no matter what. She tried pulling away again, suddenly feeling panicked... but she couldn't break away. His grasp on her, though not exactly painful, was not loose or weak in any way... Faranth.

It felt wonderful, the kiss... but... But... She had to remember why she had come here. She had come here because... because why...? She couldn't remember. She slowly stilled again and stood, her chest rising and falling against him as she tried to calm herself, which was a bit hard to do with his kiss muddling her mind. He was so angry... but... so passionate. She finally closed her eyes, giving a slight moan and pushing back, his passion spreading through her. She felt like her toes were curling from the ferocity of his kiss. Fierce was the name for it.

And what would he do next? Would he hit her... throw her out? Harm her...?

[Elessar]

She brought an arm up to protect her face while the other curled around her swollen stomach to protect her unborn child-- Vl'kan's unborn child. The Goldrider looked surprised that he had missed with every single item he had thrown, though the shards of the dishes littered the floor. As he grabbed her, she yelped, but the sound was quickly diminished as their lips met.

Iirla leaned back, almost as if to break the kiss, but then her lips parted and she stilled, eyes closed as she gave him back every ounce of passion and anger that he was feeding into her. If he could, he would turn and leave, knowing he was hurting her... but he couldn't stop himself from kissing her, from loving her.

He tried to put everything he had ever felt into the kiss... His love for her, his anger, his disappointment in both her and himself, his depression, his ire... but above all, his love. She tried to pull away again, but his grip held her steady so she could not get away, though he was not forcing her to stay. She could get away if she desired.

The kiss was everything he had ever wanted, and everything he did not want, all at the same time. Iirla stilled again, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she leaned against him, their mouths still locked. Rage and love bubbled beneath S'bel's mind. Iirla moaned and pushed back, but did not break the kiss.

And neither did he.

[Bellatora]

Iirla pulled her lips from his, breathing deeply. She leaned against him. Her head was spinning. "S'bel...?" she said, her voice just barely above a whisper. It was a question. She sounded shaken and surprised. She didn't eve notice as her arms slowly wrapped around him and held tightly to him. "What...? I..." She swallowed. "I'm.... not worth it..." she said softly. Because she wasn't. How many times had she hurt him and scorned him... and... "How... could... you ever..." she shook her head slightly, crying softly. "I'm sorry..." she whispered. Faranth! She was supposed to be telling him something. She was supposed to be in bed in Vl'kan's arms... Not standing here in S'bel's after he had thrown things at her... after he had kissed her so fiercely... So powerfully.

Why did she keep doing this? She fell in love too easily. To many times. She had fallen in love more times than she could count... some times... it was easier not to let said feelings get the better of her - sometimes it was easy to have her male friends... but sometimes... with certain men... it felt impossible.

She stayed very very still, afraid that if she tried to move now, that she would just upset him and cause more trouble. She closed her eyes and bit her lip. She wouldn't let her know how scared she had been.

[Elessar]

She pulled away, breathing heavily as she leaned into him. She seemed almost dizzy, breathless. When she whispered his name, it was barely audible... and it was a question, tinged with her surprise. S'bel let her arms wrap around him and hold him tight. As she spoke, S'bel's eyes hardened, clouded over, hardened again.

Iirla had hurt him so many times. Broken his heart. And finally, completely broken him. She said she was sorry, but what could that mean for all of the pain that she had put him through? Actions spoke far louder than words... but he truly believed that she was sorry. ...and he forgave her. He always would. He loved her.

She was very still, her eyes closed. S'bel stared down at her and slowly removed her arms from around him. "I'm going to leave the Weyr," he whispered softly. "I can't tear you apart like this. Thormyth won. You should be with Vl'kan. But I can't stay here, be near you. So I'm going to leave."

Where he would go, he had no idea. There was always the Rebellion, but he had no reason or desire to join their cause. He supposed he would simply go rogue and hope that Maerath was enough protection to keep him alive during Threadfall and after.

"I love you."

[Wish]

Alyara had had enough of the rumors. Sure she knew that S'bel had someghing with Iirla from time to time, but he had done the same to her only turns ago. She hissed under her breath, hating that Avirith was calling her to go talk to the rider. She didn't want to untangle from her lover, her boyfriend. Let him have his issues! He had hurt her too, but she had learned fron that pain. Besides, back then J'dol had hurt her more, and now everything was finally starting to fix itself. She let one finger trail down the Topazrider's back before leaving, making sure to keep quiet as to not wake him up.

Her feet went fast enough to the part of the Weyr that S'bel called home. She knew that path well unfortunately. Her hand raised to knock on the door as she arrived, but a crash from within had her freezing. There were voices, angered voices. Get in there, please Mine! Maerath, Izanycorth how can you let this happen?!? The green landed inside the ledge that the Bronze had leading to his cave, her body shining slightly with something that was growing into more than health though Hers was too busy to notice.

Maerath... The dragoness crooned, not remembering much if anything of the times they had shared. She just knew that Hers was hurting and so were the others in that room and the king was doing nothing to stop it. Opening the door and not caring what happened, Ara took three quick strides toward Iirla and put and arm around her shoulders protectively, pulling her away.

"Youre a sharing mess S'bel. I thought you'd have learned your lesson about throwing things when you were with me. Trying to harm or letting you anger go with me was one thing, but with Iirla...our Weyrwoman, not to mention she's with CHILD! How dare you? You'd leave, but that's too easy. You always leave S'bel. You left after Iskra didn't choose you, after I didn't, and now Iirla too. Instead of pouting and being moody, do your job and help her. Be there anyway she can need you, and stop messing with her. I'm sick of hearing rumors. You know half the Weyr thinks this child is yours?"

Her chest was heaving, her hands trembling with the lack of breath and anxiety she felt. Suddenly even Alyara felt sick, and she hit her lip and closed her eyes to calm herself. "I'm taking her out of here, and you're staying here. In. This. Room. Understand me?!?" When her green eyes opened there was no kindness in them. She was no longer a child he could play with but someone that could stand on her own two feet. She seriously needed to talk to Iirla about learning the same.

[Bellatora]

Iirla stared at him in disbelief, her mouth wanting to work and feeling her temper at the back of her mind attempting to rise. She instead... bit her lip, causing it to bleed ever so slightly. Did he realize what he was doing to her? Did he realize what he asked of her. Did he realize how much he was hurting her? Would he care. She had certainly hurt him more often... but... still... She looked down at her hands. "S'bel. You have to stay..." That was all she got out before Alyara came to her rescue. The green rider was a magnificent person. "Thank Faranth..." she breathed allowed, though she doubt it would be heard with the yelling.

She followed Alyara without question, feeling utterly numb and far away. She felt like something inside her had finally just given out. maybe it was that thing she called a heart... That didn't, apparently, know how to love... for real anyways... Because... Oh Faranth... Vl'kan. She needed to see Vl'kan and tell him what happened... But she was afraid of what might happen... What he might do. Would he try to leave like S'bel. He couldn't. He was Weyrleader.

Iirla, in that moment, wished she could just.... dissapear...