Don't Bother Me Today {Assaila}

[Zirin]

J’degar harrumphed at the thought of his little feline actually hurting him. “She wasn’t the one trying to shred my back.” He replied twisting to glance at his back. Though he personally couldn’t see the marks, there were sections of his back that stung a little. “I don’t think Syph even realizes she exists most of the time. She tends to avoid his cave when he’s around anyways.” He shrugged, wondering about it. He supposed Syphraelth would be rather intimidating for a young feline. I scare away the rodents she likes to hunt. Syphraelth explained, as if he knew how Milly’s mind worked.

J’degar had to look away as Assaila continued to praise him. “If you’re trying to weird me out with your comments then it’s working.” He replied, really not sure why she was praising him so much. He hadn’t done much in his life worth praise, especially now that he had been demoted to a Weyrlingmaster. He pulled away, standing and making his way to his desk. Her praise bothered him. Why? He couldn’t say exactly. Maybe it was that each word of praise drove the dagger or regret and guilt deeper into his heart. What had he done that was so great? The only reason he was here instead of at Southern was because he had lied, poisoned, and tried to dominate the leader of another Weyr. He didn’t deserve kindness, or praise, not at all.

“I don’t despise you, despite how often you harass me and take me away from my work.” His voice was gruff once more as he pretended to be distracted by the paperwork he should have been working on this morning. It was a good thing Assaila didn’t mention her daughter’s goal; J’degar would have been rather vocal of his disapproval, even knowing his opinion in the situation wouldn’t matter at all. It wasn’t like he was the girl’s father or anything.

[Bellatora]

Assaila lay and watch him, examining him. "Sorry about that... I guess you aren't the only one who can be a little rough..." She blushed and stretched out on his bed. "I'm not trying to weird you out..." She looked at him seriously for a long moment, very confused. "Coming from me... I don't know how much of it can be taken as a compliment. After all... I'm about as screwed up as you are..." She sighed and curled up in the bed, closing her eyes. If he wasn't kicking her out, then she would be glad just to stay there. This moment... this rare moment was not something she would miss for the world.

"Well.. I'm glad you don't despise me. Very glad. I still don't understand how paperwork can be fun... but then again..." She laughed softly, not really finishing her sentence for a moment. "Oh well... To each their own..."

"I think that Annaliese has made it her goal to get her own flitter at the coming gather." She smiled softly, thinking of the little girl. She hoped she ahd enough marks to buy her a nice egg. Though she was certain taht the little girl wouldn't care if it was the smallest flitter in the world... She would probably be determined to try to earn her own marks if she could as well. That would be just like her little girl.

She loved Anori, her mother's brown... and now she wanted one of her own. It seemed anything but strange to her. What with her own flitter being so important to her and her daughter deserved to have a friend like that as well... She also deserved a kitten or a puppy..... but she would much rather she got flitters...

[Zirin]

He glanced back with a snigger as she apologized, eyeing the way she sprawled out on his bed. "Making yourself quite at home, aren't you." He stated, unable to stop himself from looking over her form, now that it was easy to see her outline under the sheet. It was weird really, to have a woman actually be willing to lie in his bed. He had gotten so used to being hated by them that this almost seemed unreal. Milly had finally tired of beign ignored and with a light mewl, tried to curl up beside Assaila.

"You know I was lieing when I said it was fun, don't you," He sighed, suddenly wondering what was wrong with her. "Its not the worst thing in the world, but its necessary. I don't mind doing it, but fun isn't quite the appropriate word." He looked her in the eyes, giving her a calculating glance. "I don't see how you find so much fun in harassing a poor old brownrider."

He gave an uncaring grunt at the thought of the little girl getting a flitter. "I don't see the appeal of a miniature dragon." He replied, "But to each their own." He quoted the woman. In a way, he supposed a girl having a flit was a much better option to having her on a real dragon.

[Bellatora]

Assaila smiled and gently stroked the cat, scratching her ears adoringly. She should get a cat of her own. She doted on the cat even then, her green - yellow eyes leaving the cat to look at him only when he mentioned that paperwork was not in fact fun. "Would you rather I didn't...?" she asked him softly, opening one eye. She wasn't leaving this spot til he told her she had to.

"I know, J'degar. But playing along is just part of teasing you..." She smiled again, blushing. "I don't think it's in harassing you, J'degar... Though... I pretty much decided I was going to put a lot of work into bothering you the day we met... Honestly... Although I annoy you often and I admit that sometimes I do enjoy that fact... That isn't why I always pester you." She shrugged and pulled the nearest pillow under he head, still petting Milly.

"They're good companions. Especially when you really don't have anyone. But... since I had one growing up, I'll help her get one. Besides.. I much rather she had an entire Fair than Impress to a dragon..." She shook her head. Actually.... that wasn't true. She wanted Anna to Impress. But only if it were to a gold, and obsidian, or a topaz. No fighting dragons. Absolutely not! "It's just too dangerous." She sighed and closed her eyes again, just relaxing. She felt safe here. Safe with him.

[Zirin]

Milly purred, arching up into the woman’s hand. J’degar gave the cat a quick glance, but otherwise ignored the question. He didn’t particularly care how long Assaila decided to lounge about in his bed. As long as she wasn’t being annoying he could care less what she felt like doing.

“Was I just the first person you ran into?” He truly did wonder what had intrigued her in the first place. People tended to leave him alone, especially after he was rude to them. Had it been just a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time? “I suppose of all the people who could annoy me, at least you have a bit of intelligence while doing it.” He watched as she got herself even more comfortable. It was definitely beginning to look like she was just going to be staying forever.

His eyes opened wide and he could help but stare as she mentioned her opinion of Annaliese and dragons. “Thank Faranth! The one intelligent woman in the entire Weyr actually has a shred of intelligence! Dragons are no place for women, much too dangerous!” His spoke with fervor, showing a level of emotion he rarely shared. “The women here could learn something from you.” At that his voice quieted and he gained a far off look in his eyes.

“She could have…” If she had felt the same way, would she still be alive today? Would their second son have lived? How different would things be if she hadn’t stubbornly fought to be a-dragonback. He couldn’t look at Assaila anymore, he could only stare down at his hands sadly.

[Bellatora]

Assaila scratched and petted and pampered the feline some more, smiling softly with her eyes closed. She was comfortable. Very comfortable. Exactly where she was. She wished she'd just let her stay here all day. It was incredible.

"No... You weren't the first person I met here in the Weyr. But I heard a lot of things about you when I first came here. And listening and watching lead to other things." She looked at him. "Though... actually meeting you... that was chance." She turned slightly red. "I suppose... it was a mix of chance, or luck on my part, and just listening..." She sighed and looked at him again. She wasn't sure what else to say. "I didn't really plan anything... but... going from what I'd heard to when I met you... Things happened and I took a liking to you... And thus I started... harassing you, I guess. If that's how you would put it."

She smiled softly. So he thought she was intelligent, hmm...? She was quiet for a moment. "A lot of tragedy can and could happen with a woman on a dragon.... Women are very emotionally driven as well much of the time... which doesn't help." She sighed and closed her eyes again. "Nothing you do now can change the past... I'm sorry...." her words were so soft. So gentle... but.... what if she became upset.

"It isn't your fault..." it wasn't even a whisper... it was just words her lips formed.

She tentatively rose, giving Milly another scratch before walking over to J'degar and very tentatively placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing gently... though she would have gladly hugged him and kissed his face if it could impart some kind of comfort... but she doubted that would have been well received... like he would even know how to deal with it... She felt tears sting her eyes. She hurt for him. she tried to hold them back. SHe didn't want him to see them.

[Zirin]

“Give a woman power and it goes to her head. They always get cocky. Uncontrolled emotions and dragonriding can not, and should not, exist together.” It probably sounded sexist, but his late wife had not been the only woman to have died that way, pushing herself to prove she was just as capable as a man. He sighed, well aware that he couldn’t change the past; but that didn’t mean it hurt any less. If only he had kept her off the sands, or forced her to stay bed ridden. There were so many what-ifs, to many ‘I could haves’. How long would it take before he could finally move on from the love of his life; even now, her face was a fading memory; her voice just on the tip of his tongue, and yet the love and sorrow he felt when he thought of her were just as strong as they had been so many Turns ago.

Though he subconsciously flinched at Assaila’s touch, the woman would likely be shocked to feel him actually lean into her touch ever so slightly, though his eyes remained glued to his hands. “It’ll pass… it always does…” Though usually he drowned the feeling out with fellis.. either way, his moping would pass soon enough.

[Bellatora]

Assaila blinked in surprise as he leaned towards her. She gently started to massage his shoulders as a form of trying to show comfort. "J'degar..." she said softly, sweetly, squeezing his shoulder again and gently putting her other hand on his other shoulder and gently starting to massage his shoulders as a form of comfort. "J'degar... the more alone you try to make yourself in dealing with these things... the more you are going to rely on your fellis..." her voice was a sad whisper. "I hope... you find real happiness again... I really do."

She sang softly, no words. Just a soft, soothing tune as she gently worked at the knots in his back and shoulders. "You are a good and strong man, J'degar... But... would you have been cruel to her to keep her safe... you loved her... you could never be cruel to her because you loved her..." Her words were so soft. If she had been his wife, and she sincerely wished she had... she would have heeded his words and been more careful... she wouldn't have tried to remain on dragonback... but rather would have tried to protect the child... She touched her stomach with one hand for a split second before gently massaging his shoulders and arms. He was no wuss in her eyes.... no matter that this disturbed him so much. "J'degar... feel what you need to... express what you need to. Nothing can change the fact... you are still incredible in your own way."

She begged silently to Faranth that she could help him... that she was helping him.

[Zirin]

J’degar snapped up as she mentioned his fellis. How had she?! He thought he was so subtle about it! Either she had noticed him add the drug to his klah this morning, or she was really that observant in her stalking. “I’m not dependant on it, if that’s what you’re implying.” He grunted, though he was fully aware that he rarely went more than a day without drinking some. “You shouldn’t sound sad about a man like me, girl.” He couldn’t understand her sorrow; he was just a man she had run into by chance, who pushed her away constantly. He didn’t say anything more for a long while, content to let her relax his muscles. He hadn’t even realized how tense he had become over the last few weeks.

“Cruelty would have kept her safe.” He grumbled, “She wouldn’t have had any of it anyways. Stubborn woman, she was. Just like you.” He knew. He always had known that she would put her all into riding. He had known it the moment she impressed. Yet, even knowing didn’t make the loss any less painful. Not to mention, the pity party from Assaila was just making him feel embarrassed more than anything. He pulled aware from her touch and stood, walking behind her a moment.

“You know… It’s hard to take you seriously when you’re stark naked.” He replied, giving her behind a playfully gentle slap as he walked by. That would get her off this depressing topic, no doubt. He dropped back onto his bed, not feeling at all in the mood to work anymore.

[Bellatora]

"J'degar... I saw you put it in your drink this morning. But I'd be hypocrite to say that I don't do the same from time to time..." But she knew he did it more than just time to time... She gently but stubbornly worked at his muscles. "You are a man worth being sad for, J'degar. More worthy than most other men. But of course... I doubt you'll agree." She was quiet. "Well... I'm not out chasing a dragon, J'degar... And... being stubborn is all that has kept me and Annaliese alive this long... Though... I doubt you are oblivious to that fact." She sighed, her shoulders slumped, but she still worked her fingers over his muscles.

She flicked her hair out of her face as he stood, but his next action caught her off guard and she gave a gasp. "Sneak. Hmph. You were taking me serious for awhile." She said, glaring at him and crossing her arms, but her face soon melted into a smile and she grabbed up something to cover herself with... She sat down on the end of the bed before crawling behind him and starting to very gently massage his back and shoulders again. "You need this right now..." she said in a whisper. "So... You are incredibly dodgy when it comes to questions, you know..." She grinned. "But I guess I can get over that." She was really tempted to get some kind of payback for just a moment ago, but she didn't. She wouldn't at the moment. She was trying to think of a way to lighten the mood some more.

"What does that mean, anyways. You think I'm ridiculous or something, hmmm...?" She was teasing a bit, messing around. It didn't matter that much to her. Though... She had a lot of fun just messing around and playing with him. "I gotta say... all things considered... I have had a lot of fun. What with the teasing and all." She grinned and was tempted to kiss the back of his kneck, but she didn't. She gently moved down his back, wincing as she looked at those scratches which were a bit deeper. She gently, very gently tried not to cause him more pain. She would have kissed each and every one of them... if she didn't think he would flinch away. "Sorry about these..." she said softly, one finger smoothing over one of them just briefly.

[Zirin]

"You'll have to get over it." He replied. he had no plans of changing his horrid question-answering abilities. Especially since Assaila seemed to be rather obsessed with asking question after question. "Nn... lower," He couldn't help but grunt as she massaged close to a rather knotty spot on his back, for once forgetting that he wasn't suppose to enjoy her touch. He supposed of all the ways she could bug him though removing the knots in his back was a pretty good option, he even arched into the touch a little bit.

"Perhaps. You would have to be rediculous to take on a grumpy rider." He shrugged, relaxing more and more as each muscle loosened. Then she went and ran her finger along one of his scratches.. just enough to make his skin prickle with goosebumps and twitch ever so slightly. "It's not like they hurt you know. They're battlescars really. 'I survived a night with a crazy stalker and all I got were these scratches'." He pulled the nearby pillow under his head and got truly comfortable. "Besides, I was rough with you. A couple scratches doesn't even qualify as payback."

[Bellatora]

"I guess I'll have to." She moved her fingers lower

She just laughed. "Crazy stalker, indeed, J'degar." She sighed. She was glad she was helping him. "You know... I may annoy you... but I'm glad I can do something to help you even just a little like this..." She massaged a bit harder, working each muscle from their knots with care. Maybe she was a little crazy... She supposed that could be true. After all... her closest friend was a man who despised her most of the time... They had their own problems. The both of them.

She blinked in surprise at his reaction as she touched the scratch. she had to resist the evil idea growing in her mind to touch them again... and to see it again. But resisting only became harder as the longer she was sititng there with him, massaging his back.

"They really don't hurt...?" she asked him again as her fingers moved over more of them as she massaged his back. "You know I wouldn't torment you if you actually didn't mind me being around so much... Just joke and have fun like this morning... Or at least what most of this morning was like... I think I saw you smile for the first time today J'degar..." her voice grew soft as she was actually nervous about what she was saying. Because she was. She ducked her head and continued to massage his back, his lower back, his shoulders, his upper back.... anywhere that felt tense. "You've had WAY too much stress... but I guess... that's part of being a rider." She lay down behind him, still massaging his muscles. She didn't say anything, content to be quiet. Content just to try to make him feel a bit better. Sure it was fun to mess with him and tease him... but... really truly getting to know him had been a treat. She hoped... he'd warm up to her in time.

[Zirin]

If letting her harass him led to more wonderful massages, then J'degar supposed he could put up with a little bit more. "You're good at this." He let out a content sigh as she pressed harder. He couldn't remember when he had stopped despising her attention, or when it had become the tentative friendship is was now... but he was well aware that his rejection of her was partly an act. In truth, he really didn't mind her company, especially when she wasn't going out of her way to kiss or seduce him.

"It'll take more than a few lousy scratches to hurt me." He continued to twitch each time her fingers gently touched one of the scratches, though the pressure of the massage helped him ignore it. "Part of being a rider... or part of dealing with psychotic women." He let out a hearty guffaw as she spoke about tormenting, and actually rolled over to face her, cupping her chin with one hand and moving close. "So if I were to kiss you, you would stop tormenting me?" He didn't stay there very long, just let his lips come tantilizing close and pulled away before she'd be able to react.

"Roll over." He commanded as he sat up, giving a massaging motion with his hands, "I'll return the favor."

[Bellatora]

"Thank you..." she said, concentrating on a particular spot. "So... are you the only rider with a person like me hanging around...?" she asked him, just because of what he had said. There was a teasing tone to her voice...

And then he was sitting up, his lips so close to hers. She sucked in a breath, her lower lip trembling and her eyes wide as she looked up at him in surprise. She felt a blossom of desire in her chest, but stayed entirely still. "One kiss isn't what I'm after J'degar... you know that..." her voice was barely a whisper. She knew he knew... "But it might make me quite a bit less annoying," she added with a smirk, recovering, though she felt dissapointment that he hadn't kissed her.... and it showed. Darn it. why couldn't she hide it when she was dissapointed over something he did or didn't do?

She blinked. "Oh... thank you." She had never had someone return the favor or so something like this for her before... it was nice. He knew how to treat women. She rolled over and rested her head on the nearest pillow, presenting him with her back... which sadly bore the evidence of abuse in the myriad of scars and stripes which had been given to her over time. Never enough to cripple or severely maim her... but what had been thought enough to teach her. She felt embarrassment then. She doubted he had really looked at her back uncovered before this moment.

His being rough on her... that was really nothing ot her past experiences. She shivered slightly. Though she was partially covered, she was not so covered as to hide these marks or to keep her particularly warm when a slight breeze might blow through. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, letting it out slowly, relaxing. She trusted him.

[Zirin]

“As far as I’m aware, though I don’t tend to socialize much,” He admitted, though she was probably aware that he put work before friendship most times, “And somehow I doubt most riders would tolerate someone hanging about and harassing them on a daily basis.” He wasn’t afraid to tell it like it was.

J’degar couldn’t help but feel a little victorious at the expression on Assaila’s face. He had had the feeling the action, or tease perhaps, would have an effect on her, but this was even better than he had expected. “No… you want to sneak in and take advantage of lusting riders?” He teased, “What a goal.” He almost felt guilty for causing such a sad, disappointed look on the woman, but then reminded himself that she had stolen her fair share of kisses; missing one shouldn’t hurt too bad.

He waited as she rearranged herself for the return massage, and once she was lying down he straddled her for the sake of ease. He hands went to work, starting low on her back and working up to her shoulders and neck with a somewhat gentle touch. He didn’t want to hurt her. As he worked away one her back he couldn’t help but let his eyes glance over the scarred back. He knew some of her past, so the marks were no shock, but he could see why she had done what she had done. He had his own scar collection, but was almost ashamed to see he had less than her.

“So tell me girl, why pick a grump like me over some kind crafter.” It was something that had boggled him for a while now. She had had such a tough past and seemed to want someone who would love and protect her, so why pick the grumpiest rider around? He hadn’t missed her chilled shiver and slowed down his massage; wondering if his hands were warm enough to stop the chills.