Don't Bother Me Today {Assaila}

[Bellatora]

Despite everything, despite every word, she remained entirely calm. "J'degar... I'm sorry. Yeah I know I am a fool. I have hidden away during most of the flights with Annaliese... but this time, it seems so unimportant now, but there was something... something on my mind... that I wanted to ask of you. But... I'm afraid... I can't even remember right now. Besides J'degar. " She sighed and covered her face with her hands.

"Oh... of course, Syphraelth. Just make sure she doesn't drown or anything." Assaila smiled softly. She didn't watch J'degar as he moved around, but as she asked him that small favor, J'degar asked her how she took her klah and her eyes widened. "Plain..." And sometimes laced with fellis, she added silently.

She bit her lip and laid back on the bed with a sigh, the back of her hand on her forehead as she stared up at the ceiling. She wasn't... too well covered up at this moment. Not that she really cared. After their... night together... did it really matter that much?

"Is there something you would like to say still...?" She nearly whispered. She wasn't sure how to handle this exactly. It was not exactly... the easiest thing to handle. She was a woman. Her emotions ruled her much more than a man's did... She wanted him to want to be close to her. But he obviously didn't know how to handle her affections... or didn't want them. And yet... he had made it clear that... he wanted her to stay just a little longer at least...

She just didn't understand. Not really.

[Zirin]

Something to ask? He recalled, somewhere in the oh-so-foggy memories, that she had been mentioning such a thing before… To have forgotten the thing that caused her to be in his bed was just silly, and he hoped the question had at least been something intelligent. Well, no matter right now. What was forgotten was forgotten, if it was important she’d likely remember eventually. He filled a mug with klah for her, leaving it as she wanted, though had he known she wanted fellis in it he would have been more than happy to comply; he had a fair bit of it here after all.

He moved to set the mug on the bedside table, though he spilled a bit as he got mildly distracted by how uncovered she was. Despite what she may have though, his memories of her were fuzzy at best; comprised mostly of emotions and sounds as opposed to actual images, so in a way this was basically his first time seeing her truly naked. He couldn’t help but stare for a moment, understanding why he hadn’t been able to deny her while flightlusty. Coughing to cover up for his staring, he placed the mug down before sitting on the edge of the bed. Not to mention… every time she said his name a slight shiver ran down his back. Each time bringing the memory of the way she had said his name last night. No wonder she had gotten by as a ‘pillow girl’; she was shockingly good at what she did.

He coughed again, to hide the pink on his cheeks. Was there something else he wanted to say? “You shouldn’t leave yourself unguarded like that, idiot. There are many men out there who would gladly take advantage you know.” He was trying to use his Weyrlingmaster voice, though a little bit of teasing made its way into his tone as well.

[Bellatora]

"Oh... and would you?" she teased him right back with a soft laugh before sitting up to take a sip of the klah. She took a deep drag and gave a sigh. "The only thing that would make a good cup of klah better is just a lil fellis juice." She smiled warmly. "You look at me like you see something special. I dunno. I'm nothing great or special. Just... a girl." She held the blanket loosely around her as she took another sip. she sighed slightly. "J'degar..." her voice was gentle and keyed to be very close to a caress. She watched him to see what affect her voice had on him. Just... to know if she had made any impression at all. She honestly didn't expect much.

She was still relatively quiet. She didn't feel the need to pester him or make a lot of remarks. It just... wasn't important and wouldn't really do. She was happy just to know he hadn't turned her out yet. That was good, wasn't it? Of course... the next few days could tell a lot more of such things.

"Seems that some of the people from the hold my husband was from have found out I'm here... But they can't really do anything to me for the moment..." She looked into the klah again, her expression dark. "That was what I wanted to talk to you about... If... If the weyrleaders should decide to give me over for punishment... will you make sure Annaliese is taken care of...? Right now, I'm fairly certain I'm safe. There is too much to worry about for this matter to truly bother anyone or bring it up to the weyrwomen themselves... so... I think they may act on their own... I can't believe they have still been looking... or found us now." She hit her head rather hard with her palm. "What a big idiot I am!" She sighed and bit her lip hard enough that it was on the verge of bleeding. Though she would not allow it to go quite that far. She looked... something. She was so quiet. Deathly quiet. It was like it wasn't even Assaila. "I trust you more than anyone else, J'degar. I don't know what will happen... but... I trust you..."

[Zirin]

He rolled his eyes, chuckling lightly as Assaila seemed to open up and become closer to normal. It was comforting at least, that he hadn’t ended up breaking her spirit or something like that. “Now don’t you get ahead of yourself, girl… getting all cocky just because you’re easy on the eyes.” It was a compliment, if she was listening. He outright laughed as she mentioned the fellis. “I never would have taken you as the type to lace your own drink.”

He raised an eyebrow in curiosity as she suddenly took on a sullen tone, and his first thought was to lighten the mood with a joke. He may have been an intelligent man that didn’t necessarily mean he was always smart. “Of all the people in the Weyr you pick the groupy, hard-to-deal with brownrider from Southern to take care of your daughter? Are you sure I didn’t hurt you last night?” He gave her a worried look, as if he was completely serious about what he was saying. After a moment though, he placed a hand on her head, like he would with a child. “Look, I may not be the best man to take care of a kid, but I don’t think Syphraelth would have it any other way.”

He wanted to make a joke about how nothing would happen. But unless something tied her to the Weyr there was no guarantee, and it wasn’t like she was going to run off and impress now was she. He sighed, moving his hand under her chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes. “Listen woman. You’ve gone so far as to kill a man to keep that girl of yours safe. I have no doubt you’ll find some way out of this.” Sure, he may not have been extraordinarily fond of her most days, but he knew her well enough to know she had the spunk to get through whatever was thrown her way.

[Bellatora]

"Who said I was being cocky...? Hmmm...?" She gave him a grin and a slight shove. "You didn't? I'm wounded! It's like you don't know me at all!" she was being entirely sarcastic and it showed in her smile, but then she was serious again. "Never around Annaliese though. Her mother does so many terrible things and then hides them from her. I must truly be an unfit mother, indeed."

"You didn't hurt me," she smiled softly, her blue eyes having an almost melting-warm quality to them. "But I know that you may not be the pest... but Syphraelth can help... and you can protect. And I trust you. You're a good man, J'degar. No matter the past." She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, one hand still holding her cup of klah. "I don't think there is any way for me to stay safe at this point unless I can hide in the Weyr. If I can stay hidden long enough... maybe they'll give up... or something crazy will happen." She was thinking aloud. She took a sip of klah again, but only half-heartedly.

She smiled at him, doing her best to hold back the tears which had been threatening her since she started this line of talk. "You have much more confidence in me than I have in myself." She sighed and started thinking again. "I may just have to disappear for awhile... go elsewhere... or make it seem like I have already left. A good enough lead that they'll leave the Weyr on a wild goose chase... though they'll likely be back later. But with the chaos all around... there must be plenty of good places to hide." Her tone was so hopeful. It was almost impossible not to tell that she had given up. Her own life wasn't as important to her as the life of her darling daughter. Her daughter was the most important thing in the world to her.

She was so self-confident and strong on her own, wasn't she? But really she was just childish and arrogant most of the time. If she were to admit what she really felt about herself... it would be that she was a worthless whore of a woman who only had one truly good thing in her life that she would protect for all of eternity if she good... and she seemed to have finally found a better guardian than herself- someone who could actually protect her. A man that Assaila would hate to admit had not only grown on her as she had annoyed him and troubled him.... and even used him.... but had come to love as well. He likely had no idea and would probably turn her out if he did.

Annaliese had no idea of what might be in the future... whether it did or didn't happen. If it did... she would know then... if not.... Assaila hoped she would never have to know.

And maybe this way... Annaliese would have a father figure to look out for her...

[Zirin]

J'degar rolled his eyes. "Because getting to know you is definately a good idea. Look at all the trouble you've brought me!" He couldn't help teasing her back. Perhaps she wasn't so bad, once she stopped trying to seduce you. She almost seemed like a human being now. "There are worse mothers out there. At least you try to avoid trouble..." His voice took on a solemn tone then as memories of his wife resurfaced once more. If only she had stopped to think,... if only she hadn't been looking for trouble...

"Look at my luck. The only woman who seems to understand me is an annoying pain in the neck. Faranth is punishing me, I can feel it." He took another sip of klah, "You're thinking too deeply. If you keep running they'll keep chasing you. Get a haircut, change your name, act a drudge for a bit and they'll leave you be." He shrugged, knowing that his advice wasn't exactly helpful. If they had hunted her this far, they would likely hunt her forever. The only chance of staying out of trouble was to simply become someone else.

J'degar couldn't completely fill the role Assaila wanted of him; he couldn't just become a father for the girl. But he could make sure that her daughter stayed safe. The Weyr would ensure that on its own, but at least she would have someone to go to if she ever needed it.

[Bellatora]

"And what trouble do you mean? This. I should think this wasn't too bad..." She looked away then, turning a shade of red which would show just how self - conscious she could be. She didn't exactly let her barriers drop for long most of the time. But... Well, like she said, she trusted J'degar. She smiled at him almost a bit childishly. "I guess. Trying to avoid danger is better than running into it. I'd do just about anything, though... if it meant keeping her safe..." She sighed and covered her face again, wiping the wayward tears away before he would see them. It just wouldn't do to appear weak. Not in front of anyone.

"I think that even that would not keep them from finding me. It's been how many turns now, J'degar? And they have tracked me even now. I only have one hope and it is not one that I am going to take. It's too big a risk. And... too unlikely. Nor something that I desire." She sighed. "And what do you mean the biggest pain in the neck?" She shoved him then, chuckling softly. "You really know how to flatter a woman, you know?" She was teasing again.

"I should cut my hair and try to get some berry dyes or something... enough to make me look different enough..." She shook her head and laughed slightly.

"I suppose that I'm just being depressing now and over thinking everything." She bit her lip slightly... though a bit to hard as it started to bleed and she wiped that blood away with the back of her hand looking at it with a frown.

[Zirin]

"For you maybe," J'degar scoffed as he put down his now empty mug of klah and began looking his still almost completely naked self, as if trying to find something. "You have the pleasure of remembering what happened. For all I know you could have done horrible, nasty things to my poor, unprotected self last night." It felt good to be able to joke around again, especially since this time he got to see Assaila looking uncomfortable with it. What an interesting shade of red! He tried to block as she gave him a shove, not that her weak little body was enough to move him much.

"Oh? You're a woman? That flat chest could have fooled me!" He actually gave her cheeky grin as he spoke, wanted her to know that he was in fact just teasing her. J'degar did, in fact, have the ability to smile. Who knew? He sighed as she got serious again; she really was overthinking it. Chances were, the people hunting her were just hired men and women looking for a woman that fit a particular description.

"I don't think it would take much to change your appearance. It would be the easiest way at least." He replied, eyeing her as she wiped the blood off her lip. What an idiotic woman!

[Bellatora]

"Poor and unprotected?!" she scoffed, laughing again. "You do realize that you are very much bigger than me and that I don't think I could have done much of anything to you. You are a little rough, you know," she said with a smile. Her body sported a few bruises. But they didn't hurt. Not in the least. She turned another shade of pink and covered her face again, peaking out at him between gaps in her fingers.

"Hey! How rude!" She crossed her arms and turned away from her, head tilted upward, though she was grinning and trying really hard not to laugh. "Is it weird for a woman to be afraid to cut her hair, J'degar....?" she asked him quite plainly after a moment, pulling gold locks over her shoulder.

"You think that'll work then... just cutting my hair and working as a drudge for awhile?" She looked a little dubious. "And don't look at me like that. I just bit my lip." She frowned at him and shoved him again... not that it did any good... and not that she was serious about it.

[Zirin]

"And yet despite my size you still managed to somehow trick me into letting you into my room and bed, if I'm not mistaken. You're hardly incapable." He replied, though an expression of guilt crossed his features as she mentioned his roughness. "I suppose that will teach you to mess with a lusting rider." He doubted it.

"What's this? The ever confident Assaila embarassed by such a simple comment? I am ashamed!" He teased, raising an eyebrow at her rather rediculous pose which, if anything, was just giving him a rather unobstructed view of her cleavage. Perhaps that was the intention?

"It's not weird, but it is silly. Is your hair more precious than your daughter?" He laid back down, feeling calm enough now to go on another rampage in the forseeable future. "Besides, I'm bigger and stronger than you remember? I could always force you if you're that afraid." it was said with an obvious mocking tone. J'degar could care less if she cut her hair, it was simply a suggestion. He gave her a dramatic eye roll as she told him off.

[Bellatora]

"Trick you! No way! I didn't trick you, J'degar. Not in the least. You told me it wasn't smart... I was stupid enough not to listen... then you took me to your bed. And you aren't that bad, I'm not hurt at all in the end." She seemed to think about that for a moment. "Yes and no at the same time. Though I rather not find myself in any other man's bed... After all... didn't you say my mission in life was to make your life a living hell or something like that?"

"You? Ashamed? HA! I doubt that!" She turned back towards him and laid down, supporting herself on her elbows as she looked at him with a rather soft smile and chuckled. She wondered... if this morning after was a good or bad one for him... She had never really had to worry about a morning after.

"No! Of course not!" she sounded incredulous. She smiled warmly. "You could always force me... but... I don't think I'm that afraid. Least wise I hope not. I don't think I'd want you to have to forcefully give me a haircut. Or hold me while someone else gave me one." She gently licked the bleeding lip and then turned back to laying down and eventually laid her head down on her arm, folded so that it made a pillow for her head as she looked at him, her hair falling like a veil around her. Her blue eyes searched him, a softness in them that one wouldn't have seen before.

[Zirin]

“Let me get this straight… you’re going to make my life a living hell by… crawling into my bed?” He gave her a look of utter disbelief. Did she really think that THAT, of everything she could and had done, would be the thing to make his life hell? She really was a messed up young woman wasn’t she.

He shrugged lazily as she turned back towards him. In truth, it definitely wasn’t the worst morning after. He tended to sleep longer than his bed mates most of the time, so sometimes he didn’t even end up knowing he had even HAD a bed mate. The other mornings were usually brief, polite exchanges as the other person left. Then there was K’lin… which had been an amusing enough morning if not for the threat of that psycho rider Daedra hunting him down. No… as far as morning afters went this one wasn’t too bad.

“Oh, what’s that? You don’t think you’d want me to hold you? I’ll keep that in mind next time you try to pull the seductress act on me.” For all that J’degar was playing with Assaila, his eyes still help a bit of a cold distance to them; a stark contrast from Assaila’s own eyes. He wouldn’t warm up to her overnight, there was still too much pain from the past stopping him from moving on.

[Bellatora]

She rolled her eyes. "Geez! I'm kidding J'degar!" she gave a huff of feigned annoyance. "But does it annoy you that I have crawled into your bed..?" she asked softly, hoping he would say no. She really wanted him to accept her and want to be around her... to want to have her around.

"So... is this morning after all that bad...?" she asked him softly and gave him a gently searching look. "You know that isn't what I meant, J'degar!" She sighed. "I would love it if you'd hold me... but not exactly if it was because you had to hold me down for a hair cut... And I won't play seductress if you don't want me too, I guess... It's just so much... easier..." She wrapped her arms around herself self-consciously. She looked up at the ceiling just for the sake of looking elsewhere. That cold distance... He still hurt so much.

She gently reached out a hand to one of his and just, very gently, let her fingers trace across it. "Annaliese really likes you, ya'know.... In a way, she thinks the world of you. She thinks you could beat any bad person to come your way and that you are the greatest rider ever to live... She also thinks a lot of Syphraelth."

Her daughter hadn't told her mother... she wanted to be a rider. A powerful rider like J'degar and the others.

She made know move of great affection... though she entirely desired to.

[Zirin]

"I thought men were supposed to be your speciality." He retorted, "You should know that few sane men would be angry about a woman in his bed." He knew he was skirting around the subject, but it did hold some truth. He snorted, "You're just full of question aren't you? As far as mornings go though... pretty terrible," He looked completely serious for a moment before little a light grin play at the corner of his lips. "Nothing worse than being woken up by a feline to the face." Simply telling her what she wanted to hear was no fun anyways.

"You can play all you want, I'm not going to stop you. Just don't expect it to work on me." He wasn't born yesterday after all, and he wasn't going to just get with the first girl to flaunt herself in front of him. He hadn't been looking at her as she spoke, and as such, the gentle touch of her fingers cause his hand to twitch and tense, though besides the initial jolt away he didn't move his hand. Instead he simply turned his head to look at her hand. It was because she was complimenting him, he told himself.

"I can't deny my own greatness." He said with amusement. The compliment to Syphraelth did cause his eyes to soften though. He really didn't know what he would do without Syphraelth. "She's a smart girl then, to appreciate a good rider when she see's one." It had been so long since someone had said something nice of him. Leave it to a child to see past the grumpy, 'woman-hating' Southern scum of a man. The thought made a small, soft smile grace his features for a moment.

[Bellatora]

She smiled and covered her mouth as she laughed at that. "I hope she didn't scratch you... but I supposed she isn't a fan of sharing you though... How does she get along with Syphraelth I wonder..." She wasn't taking things too seriously.

She curled up a little bit, but she didn't move her hand, instead she gently moved a finger, looking at that hand. "You are truly a magnificent rider, J'degar... and a great man. And I'm grateful I met you... even if I think you despise me half the time." She gave him a gentle smile.

"Sound fair to me. But if it did work on you... then I don't know that it'd be as much fun because then you wouldn't be the strong-minded man you are and that I admire quite a lot." She was looking at his hand. It was so much bigger than hers... He was a lot bigger than her, but that was alright. He was a wonderful, irritating man who had a dark past... just like her. Maybe that was part of what she liked about him as well?

"Modest as ever." she said somewhat sarcastically. "She definitely sees a great rider and a great dragon pair." She smiled warmly, closing her eyes, and just laying there peacefully with a small, soft smile on her face as she thought and imagined real freedom... and a life she wished she could have... She honestly wished she could have. But it was so hard to grasp and imagine. So many things had already been ruined for her... and her feigned hopes of freedom seemed to be crashing around her... but maybe there was hope. Annaliese was a good girl. She would do well here.

She wasn't going to tell him, though... that Annaliese wanted to be a rider as great as he was some day... that would likely not sit well with him.