Is This The End? {Open}

[Zirin]

{{Takes place a few days after Chahaturth's flight}}

Her eyes were distant, unseeing, as she lay in the infirmary bed. Though no harm had come to her physically, she had been extraordinarily weak ever since Chahaturth's flight, the flight that had left her dragon's body broken on the weyrbowl floor. She had been left to sleep constantly since then, either through her own fatigue or through the use of fellis, and when she wasn't sleeping she could merely lay there and think. It was odd, she had come to realize, how quiet her mind seemed to be these days. Without Braymoth's constant string of morbid comments or cocky jokes, her mind was free to focus on whatever she wanted it to.

It left her feeling empty.

How was it that she had grown so used to the sound of his voice, to the feelings of bloodlust and anger that had been a constant presence in her head since Impressing Braymoth two Turns ago? She felt a stirring in her mind as she mused, a love that seemed almost foreign; though she had always know Braymoth loved her as she loved him; neither of them had ever gone out of their way to share that feeling with the other. You make it sound as if I am gone, little lamb. Do you wish to be rid of me so easily? The voice was weak, no more than a whisper in her mind. Was it him that was speaking, or merely a memory of what had once been, brought on by the constant intake of fellis to quell the pain she felt?

She could not bring herself to answer.

For two Turns she had silently wished that she had never stood, that the garnet had never found her and tasted her blood, or heard her screams as he forced his way into her mind. For Turns she had prayed that it had been a mistake, that this was merely a dream and she would wake to find her soul mate was a simple green or blue. Now though, she couldn't imagine a life without her Braymoth. Every attempt to picture her life without him left her feeling numb and cold. She couldn't picture it, her imagination let her see only darkness, feeling nothing, seeing nothing, being nothing.

There it was again, that angry sorrow that came every time she thought of her life. Why was she angry? Braymoth...? Had she always sounded so weak in her own mind? No, she felt, she had once been strong. Once, she had given up everything she had to bring her brother to safety. Once, she had strived to be a dragonhealer, to help those who protected them so, but she had failed. What was she to do now? What was she to fight for?

Nothing. There is nothing left to fight for without you. She heard herself think, not truly expecting an answer but willing that voice to come back to her once more. She was met with silence. How she had longed for silence for so long... but now that she had it, it seemed to press in on her, squeezing her, making it hard to breath. She longed to cry out, to scream, just to break the silence, but her voice wouldn't come. There had to be some way... She stood, letting the blanket fall from her as she stepped away from the bed, her eyes locked on the healer's cabinet. How many times had she gone in there for bandages and numbweed to heal another? This time though, she needed something for herself.

Opening the door, her eyes immediately fell on the knife. It was what she needed, it would end her suffering. It would make her scream, chase away the silence that closed in on her in every waking moment. A grin crept across her face, demented as fingers closed around the hilt and lifted the shining blade to the skin of her neck. One quick slice... that would be all that she needed. No... she couldn't do that. He would have wanted to hear her scream. She lowered the knife and looked out over the ledge, peering into the darkness of the still night. The great body of her garnet beast lay still, his silhouette visible in the light of the moons and only the slightest hint of movement in his sides show he breathed at all.

He was nothing more than a figment of her imagination, she told herself, a personification of the pain she felt. To be alive without living, that was what she was, it was what she had been since that flight. She had felt his pain as he hit the ground, had felt his presence leave her mind. They had wrapped his wounds, leaving his body more white than red, though here and there she could see the ichor that had stained the bandages. After all, how was she to know that he was truly still alive, that he was simply in a coma? No, she told herself, there was no way he was still real; her life mate would have never let himself appear so weak, only in her mind could she pretend he still lived.

She stepped out beside him, though she did not reach out to touch him; doing so would cause the vision to fade. He would want this of her, a final show of her strength, a final effort to show she was meant for him, as he had always been meant for her. Finally understanding her intentions, her two firelizards popped in from between, circling her, begging her not to be rash. Their cries went unheeded. She drew the blade across her arm, hissing at the sharp pain and the warmth of her blood, though she could not bring herself to cry out.

She felt it again, that anger in the back of her mind, the sorrow and the love that seemed so foreign and yet so close. All too soon, as the blood dripped from her arm, so too did the emotions leave her mind, leaving her with nothing but the tears streaming down her face and the emptiness that threatened to swallow her. That was it then, the only way she could bring forth his memories. She needed to cause pain and suffering, to bring forth the things he had so loved. She knew what he needed; blood, anger, screams. There was an insanity to her smile then, as she licked the blood from her knife and lifted it into the air.

With another glance at her garnet, she plunged the dagger into her shoulder and let loose a bloodcurdling scream.

[Akira]

Akira rolled her eyes as she listened to her little blue firelizard chitter at her. Blue had finally gotten himself out of trouble after the last time he had stolen from someone, and at that moment the young blue rider was wishing that he would just leave her alone and give her some peace. Blue snorted and popped between suddenly, making her jump. Not a second later she heard someone screaming. She ran the rest of the distance to the infirmary only to see some girl with a dagger in her shoulder. She grabbed a bunch of rags and ran over to the girl who was slumped on the ground and knelt next to her. Oh dear Faranth what on Pern were you doing? Seeing as she had never had any training, the nineteen turn old rider had no idea what to do for the poor girl. Hopefully an actual Healer would show up soon.

(((Sorry it's so short x.x)))

[Zero]

Oh how hard old habits were to break. At least that’s how one man currently felt. Once a fisherman, then a wherhandler and now currently a dragon rider, he had still yet to adjust to his new sleeping patterns. So, as it was so very late at night, did the brownrider find himself walking the grounds lost in thought once again. He wasn’t alone, however, the ever faithful and inquisitive Nesteith followed in silence, though from time to time the silence was broken by his rider as he carried on his half of the conversation out loud. Still only a few months of age, the young Nesteith had already grown in leaps and bounds and already easily towered over his rider but he was still a long ways off from flying, hence the reasoning the two walked in the shadows.

Though something would disturb the pairs walk tonight. As they rounded a corner, leaving the grassy fields behind and entering the sandy bowl, a curious sight met their eyes. Nesteith snorted and flared his wings. What does she hope to gain from such actions? Does she wish her dragon to leave forever? Th’eau said nothing at first, continuing to look on in shock at the younger woman kneeling beside the very large and bandaged garnet. It didn’t take a Master Harper to deduce that something was amiss but still, Th’eau couldn’t help but think that this was a situation that was best tackled slowly and carefully as it seemed clear the garnetrider was more than likely a little affected by the current state of her dragon. Naturally she had every reason to be.

Before he could get too close however another face arrived on the scene and had the rider pulling a face. Just how many people were night walkers anyway? Perhaps they compensate for it by sleeping during parts of the day, such as us. Th’eau shook his head and jogged the rest of the way over. “Is she alright? Can we offer any help?”

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[Zirin]

She had dropped to her knees, the pain of being stabbed making her legs give way beneath her. At some point, the screaming changed into laughter; a sick, morbid chuckle filled with pain and longing. THe sound of a voice near her though, broke her from her daze and she looked over, tears streaming from her eyes before she narrowed her gaze again. Her look was unfocused, and at best she only seemed to recognize that someone was there and nothing more.

"He loves it, he loves suffering... it will bring him back won't it?" Her voice cracked and her grin never seemed to falter, despite her wide eyed look. "Help?" She asked, forcing herself to stand again, though her legs were wobbly at best. The firelizards, abandoning their attempts to stop her, flew instead to the two night-time wanders, chittering warnings and trying to get them to back off.

"Yes... more pain... more suffering..." She ripped the dagger from her shoulder, gasping at the second round of pain before switching her grip on it and looking back at Akira. Her pain was superficial, it had nothing on the pain Braymoth had felt when he hit the ground. It was nothing on the injuries he had given her as a weyrling. It had all been building up to this, the day she would prove that pain was nothing. Yes... Akira was the closer one, she would do for now. THe boy would be next, if Akira failed to wake her Braymoth. "Hehe... He'll hear your screams, he has too!" Laughing again, she dove at Akira, aiming to bury the dagger within her.

[jovia]

Of course they weren't the only ones out and about this night, Linda was as well as she was rather concerned about her fellow healer. She had met her after the touching and even at the birth of a baby and she was a dragonrider... The dragon had been hurt and Linda hoped he would make it. But she wanted to go back and check up on Yufa, she wasn't like the others dumb and slow witted but a fellow healer who she could learn and respect as a craft member.... But before her was an entirely different story... Blood was running down Yufa's body from a wound as she pulled the blade from her own body.. What the heck, did someone attack her?!?!?! Linda was too late to get here to stop anything like that but instincts kicked in as she suddenly made a run for it... Not away but towards.

Hana cried out as Rorce dove in as well, he always loved a good fight and wanted to get in there before Linda could. "Yufa!!!" with that Linda just ignored the others there, hopefully they could take care of themselves or not attack now that someone else was there... She would have to figure it out later after all as she went to launch herself to hopefully tackle Yufa. She was too injured to fight and things just seemed strange.... What she didn't know but she was going to find out.

[twitchie]

Mae had been sitting with her firelizards when both Tiide and Violette began having a fit.
They nipped her ears and tugged on her short hair.
"Quit it!"
She brushed them off of her shoulders.

Then she saw what upset them. The woman who had been kind to her, Yufa... Oh...NO!
Mae bolted up, aiming to throw herself between the red head and the next victim.
"Yufa!"
She felt the cry catch in her throat.
Gathering her courage she boldly stood in front of Yufa, hoping to spare the target.
"You helped me once. Let me help you now."
Mae tried to lock eyes with the grievous and savage woman.
"We are all going to help you. I am going to help you."
If this continued, the tomboy might try and wrestle the knife from Yufa. But for now, she'd take the slashes.

[Akira]

Akira looked up when she heard someone talking. Do I really look like a healer to you? All I know is that she stabbed herself. But if you would like to know what you can do to help, find someone that knows something about healing for Faranth’s sake! The young rider had never been a very social person, and she wasn’t really trying to be rude to Th’eau, she was just upset and had no idea what to do. Calm down Kikimine, yelling at that poor weyrling won’t do any good. Oridith’s deep voice echoed inside of the young woman’s mind, which made her try and calm herself. He was right, yelling at them wouldn’t bring help any fast. But before she could apologize, the strange garnet rider had started talking. What do you mean? She didn’t understand what Yufa was going on about.

Causing yourself harm won’t help your dragon get better. It will only make things worse! She was saddened by the poor girl’s plight. She just wanted her dragon back, and Akira knew that she wouldn’t be in any better shape if someone were to ever happen to her Oridith. The average sized blue crooned at his rider’s thoughts, but kept his concerned gaze on the garnet dragon and his rider. Akira gasped in shock when she saw Yufa rip the dagger from her shoulder, but there was something else in the girl’s expression that had the bluerider taking a step back. Thankfully Akira had been in enough fights to know how to defend herself. So when Yufa attacked she quickly stepped out of the way, avoiding any harm the garnet rider had intended to cause her. Oridith growled, and would have stepped in had he been able to fit among all the people that had seemingly come from nowhere.

[Zero]

If he were the heartless sort of man, Th'eau would have found the whole situation do be amusing. All these children, and thats what they were to the older man, brazen and foolish children were rushing headlong in to a scenario they knew nothing about.
Could no one see how delicate this situation was? Of course not, they were all girls and acted foolishly on blind emotion. Th'eau knew better. He had once stood where Yufa was right now. Naturally one could argue that the bond, life, and then death of his wher was nothing like the pain the garnetrider was likely experiencing. They could, but they would be stepping into a dangerous zone with the, now, brownrider.

Ah, but what could he play on to help draw her out of this manic state? Duty, pride, or honor? What about family? Did she even have any? Well shards, he had to give it a try. If he failed then he could move on to physically restraining her. Frowning, Th'eau shot a look at one of the girls who snapped at him for his previous and simple inquiry. Again a prime example of acting out on pure emotion; foolish. Nesteith rumbled as he swayed lightly from side to side, pleased with His' train of thought. It is, of course, why he had picked the man after all.

"Rider!" Yufa "Yufa! Hear me, I need you to focus on what I'm telling you. This...this isn't going to bring him back. Be his strength, be his protector. Don't cause yourself any more pain by taking your grief out on us. He needs you now more then ever. Standby and fight the pain with him..." His voice had trailed off as he watched the younger rider with careful eyes. He knew there was an extremely high chance that his words would fall on deaf ears and that her knife could soon be turned on him, but it was a risk he was willing to take. Besides, if that was his dragon and he was close to losing his mind, Th'eau would have wanted someone to come and try talking him down.

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[Zirin]

How DARE this girl think she knew what would and wouldn't help Braymoth! She was not his rider, not his other half, Yufa was, and the very idea that anyone would dare trying to pretend they understood made her rage that much stronger. She hissed as Akira dodged out of the way, and would have attempted another attack but Mae seemed to want to get in the way. Though she had training in dueling, Yufa was not normally an aggressive type, so her fighting abilities were far below par. She glared at those gathered. They were fools, all of them. Hissing again, Yufa lashed out at the young harper instead, not even recognising that it was someone she knew.

"You know nothing! All of you!" She yelled, tears streaming down her face. She had waited, for days she had waited, and Braymoth had never returned. She needed to do something, anything, to bring him back, to feel his mind again. What she wouldn't give to feel his teeth sink into her arm once more! Then it was the boy speaking again, the one who was far out of her reach. His words certainly struck a chord within her. How many times had she tried to console a dragonless? How many times had she tried to urge them on to stay strong, to not do anything drastic? Maybe he was right? Oh but Braymoth wasn't dead, was he. That was what they all seemed to think anyways. She had tried to fight, to stay strong, but it hadn't worked. Perhaps... Only life would pay for life. A flicker of hope flashed through her eyes as her gaze fell on Nesteith. She bit her lip until it bled, her breathing erratic as she eyed the brown dragonet. Yes, he would do... surely life would pay for life, and what was closer to Braymoth than another dragon?

"What do you know of loss, you with your perfect little partner? You all know nothing. Nothing!" She yelled at all of them. Her grip on the knife was so tight her knuckles had long since turned white. Laughing again, this time with desperation, she began to run towards him, her injured arm hanging limply by her side, red with the blood that poured from her wound. It was her desperation, more than anything, that kept her on her feet despite the bloodloss. Not a moment later though, she found herself pinned beneath Linda.

"I need him, I need his blood, his screams, his life! Get off, GET OFF!" She screamed, her breathing beyond erratic as she tried to gasp for air that didn't seem to want to fill her lungs. She squirmed, flailed beneath the woman, trying desperately to get her off as her hand tried to bury the knife in Linda's side. With another kick, Yufa threw her head back as her tears blurred her vision and let loose another wordless scream; one of anger, pain and frustration.

[jovia]

Linda ignored everyone there, all their movements and all their words... Or at least she seemed to. Taking in what was going on, Yufa was not acting right and from what that one rider said... This was a reaction to her Dragon? Yeah that Garnet had fallen and had yet to wake up... But no that was not here or now, she had to try to get her to calm down. The blade that soared through the air at her side thunked into her arm.. Sure it nicked her side as well but Linda knew fighting well enough to keep it from anything vital and she couldn't dodge it all the way.

With her non injured hand though she reached over and just tried to Slap Yufa as hard as she possibly could. If she left a bruise oh well, it was time to snap her out of it and it seemed the calm way was a no go. Time for the violent brunt approach, which Linda seemed to be good at instead of the white lies and half truths. "Shards and Shells Yufa!!! Why would he want you to hurt others and not let him in on the action!! He will be very mad at you once he wakes up!! Why don't you put your healing to good use to help him huh!! Or are you that weak of a rider that his trust and belief in you is misplaced!?!?!" Sure her words might be harsh, might sting, might throw her for a loop... But Linda was now too concentrated on the knife trying to make sure it didn't go into her side again as blood started to drip down her arm and waist.

[twitchie]

Mae flinched, receiving a gash, but she didn't really feel phyical pain.
The way Yufa was blind, unknowing, having attacked to...attack... That was what hurt.
She had thought Yufa was her friend, her first trusting character whom she respected. The way she handled her Garnet, the way she kept her wits about her...
Where was that person?

The harper bit her lip, wondering whether to cry or be furious of such betrayal. It wasn't really purposeful hurt, but hurt all the same.
Tiide landed on Mae's shoulder, getting blood on his blood from her cut. He crooned fearfully.
Violette was scared and thus aggressive. She wrapped her small body around Mae's neck, claws grazing the girl's skin. Her eyes swirled red and she was spitting and hissing.

A tear slipped down Mae's slightly dirty cheek.
Her friend, the Yufa she had known was already gone. Even if the calming was successful, Yufa would never ever be the same.
It..it broke her heart. It really did. Few things could hurt. Mae had broken countless bones, recieves many bruises and other painful things from wrestling. Cuts and things did not affect her often.
But the cut from Yufa throbbed, stung. It was all the more painful because it was from her shattered friend. But most of all, her heart hurt. As if Yufa had stabbed and twisted her knife there.

Mae grabbed the wound tightly with one hand, squeezing to stop the blood as much as possible. Yufa was gone. Her friend was gone.
Her first real friend. A women, a hardly trustable (Mae's opinion from her past) female that she loved.. gone.
Blood seeped out from between her fingers, trickling slowly down her arm.

Mae knew that when she was alone in her room, she would cry. Cry over the friend she never got to know.
Maybe... maybe she could honor her friend?
The day they had met, on the river. Braymoth had been snarky, but Mae wasn't scared. She would cry over Braymoth too. He was her friend, in an odd fierce way.
And wouldn't he have some dark comment to explain exactly how he was not her friend?

Yufa... Yufa had been nice to her. Her eyes closed. She could be more like Yufa. Brave, wise, caring. Even if unsure, Yufa would likely have a good answer.

Yufa would be remembered as who she was. The women who struck her was not Yufa. That was pain, devastation, horror all in a human's corspe.