The Round's on Me {Sevrin}

[Zirin]

He was such a muddled mess. Plain and simple, he had no other way to describe himself at that very moment. There was simply too much on his mind; eggs, babies... mostly babies... Iirla's sometimes, but usually it was his own potential child that was weighing on his mind. He didn't know how to deal with Ara. Not in a bad way, he just felt like he was walking on eggshells with her since they found out, always worrying that he was going to say something wrong and have her break down again. It was nerve wracking.

He had been using wine to sooth himself more often than not lately. He had already gotten into the skins; not enough to be drunk, but he was well on his way if he kept it up at this rate. He had been drinking alone, but truth be told he didn't want Ara walking in on him drunk. So instead he had shoved numerous wineskins into a bag and wandered out the door. There were plenty of people he could drink with... Dalrian perhaps, maybe his father, random people down in the caverns. Truth be told though, he already knew he was headed towards Sevrin's weyr.

He hated the man with every fiber of his being and yet... he'd be lying if he said he didn't like the man either. He was tossed really, on how he felt. What he did know though, was that of all people Sevrin was the most likely to drink with him. He reached the ex-rider's weyr in no time at all and didn't even bother knocking, simply swinging the door open and traipsing in like he owned the place.

"We're drinking tonight old man. Get your ass over here!"

[Wish]

"Well, doesn't this bring back such good memories?"

The voice was decidedly sour, but hey the topazrider had just barged in on the man. What had J'dol expected? A warm welcome no doubt, or perhaps this was exactly why the younger man had come. Either way, Sevrin wasn't entirely happy with it. He groaned as he ran a hand through his loose hair, pulling it back into a low pony-tail with a leather cord he had wrapped around his wrist. "Last time you came over, I don't think you enjoyed the end result." He picked up an eye brow, scratching his shoulder idly. Oh yeah, guess he had taken one from the rider seeing as he hadn't worn a shirt.

Again, J'dol had barged in on Sevrin...though even if it were the other way around it wouldn't be any different. Smirking the older man grabbed the wineskin and popped the lid open, lifting it to his lips and taking a greatful gulp. "Alright kid, what's eatin' you. Don't whine either, just get out and yell already. Skip the pansy, female-dragon riding shit and just say it." Which was basically Sevrin for; either say why you're here or get the shards out while you still could. Chirping curiously the older of his flits, even if it was just by minutes, popped her head up from the pillow she was sleeping on.

"Oh, J'dol, Kaya. Kaya, J'dol." The Topaz firelizard chirped again, tilting her head sleepily.

[Zirin]

J'dol pointedly glowered in response, displeased that the man had brought that up so quickly. It certainly wasn't making his mood any better. Well, that was a lie, the memories in question were pleasant enough, and they certainly made the heat start rising to his cheeks, but if one thing was to be said about Sevrin it was that he was a terrible bed mate. Well, at least J'dol had a rather wonderful view to distract himself with. Of course, one look at the man's torso had those memories returning again and he had to take a deep breath and look away to calm himself.

"End result perhaps. The rest was oddly enjoyable." Like listening to Sevrin's voice... that was something he'd be more than happy to go through again. That wasn't why he was here however. He was here for something much more important. He bristled as Sevrin let loose a string of mild insults. Shards, the man sure knew how to get under his skin! "I don't whine." He began, taking a long swig only to cough as a flit was instroduced. A topaz.. named Kaya? "You named your flit... after Kayath?" He could have made a snide comment about how the man OBVIOUSlY loved him, or something of the sort, but he was simply too taken aback by it. He swallowed down another gulp of wine before finally settling into a chair and taking on a serious, if somewhat nervous, look.

"Do you.. think I could ever be... a father?" He couldn't just tell the man, he didn't know if Ara even wanted the news out or not... but he needed imformation of some sort, and of all people, Sevrin was the most likely to tell him the flat out truth.

[Wish]

"Yeah, you do...and why shardin' not? She's demanding enough." As if on cue the little orange firelizard trilled angrily and flapped into his arms, flicking her tail against his side until she was petted. "See?" He glared at the thing accusingly for a brief moment before softening and finally just smiling at her. "Besides....nevermind." He shook his head, instead listening to what the younger man had to say..or ask apparently. There was no lieing, it had taken him back hearing those words from J'dol. In fact, Sevrin started to laugh, a short bark coming before he bit it back.

"Look kid...I'm going to be honest, don't you think you already have a kid somewhere? You're not exactly little hold girl if you know what I mean." He scratched his head, looking around before finally settling on the skin of whine and abruptly taking it and tipping it back along with his head. Okay, so he took a few more gulps than he should have, but he kept the darn stuff down without coughing. "What's this about....you didn't...no you...shells..." He went from curious to outright surprised, and then laughing again. "You're worried about being a father....I remember not long ago you were worrying about just telling her you loved her! Shards J'dol....why you got to ask questions you already know the answer to?"

He perked and eye brow and shook his head, his legs folding under him as he sat cross-legged on the bed. "Look kid....If I have little Sevrins runnin' around, I don't know about it, but I sure as Faranth wish I did know. As awkward as that may be, I think I deserve to see what I made you know? Besides, it's different. You have a kid with some random drudge and it's meh, just another mistake. You have a kid with someone who might as well be your weyrmate...J'dol, that doesn't make you hers, that makes her yours. In my mind, I never stepped that line. Can't tell me you ever did?"

[Zirin]

J'dol winced as Sevrin laughed; sure the laugh had been nothing more than a short bark, but it still hit home anyways. Maybe it meant J'dol really wasn't suited for this stuff? His look changed briefly to one of horror at the thought of tons of children running around crossed his mind; he was having trouble wrapping his head around one child... how could he handle more?! Did this mean he was already a horrible father. He groaned and took another swig of wine, easily downing half the skin. He supposed Sev was right though... there was no way J'dol could track down every woman he had ever slept with. Sure, it might be nice to know what brats were running around with his dna, but they had gotten along without him... he couldn't worry about those 'mistakes'. His face flushed red as the ex-rider just kept hitting sore spot after sore spot.

"Your laughing is not helping." He glared at the man, feeling even more stupid about everything with every passing moment. From the way Sevrin was talking though, it seemed he hadn't quite caught what J'dol meant. Did he really want to spill entirely? Or should he just pretend the ex-rider had answered the question or...

Can't tell me you ever did? He glanced up at Sevrin and bit his lip, looking away sheepishly and fiddling with his wineskin. He most certainly HAD crossed that line with Ara now, hadn't he? He seemed to shrink in on himself then, looking more a child than he ever had; scared, naive, nervous. He was feeling it all. "I don't know how to be a father..." He finally mumbled.

[Wish]

"Hey! You came here for drinking, not help. You didn't come here for me to hold your hand either boy. You came here because Im ruthless with you when it comes to kickin' your arse when you're being a dimglow." Sevrin's eyes narrowed though as the next words came out. How was he supposed to know any more?!? Although, he had taken care of his little sister. "Youre an only child aren't you? 'Cuz if you ain't you got no excuse. When you're a set of siblins, well you learn how to take care of someone else....alright hold on a sec here and let me think of a good way to put this."

He leaned back against the head board, his legs uncurling as he scratched the Firelizard on his lap. Finally it seemed as if the answer hit him. Nodding he went over it a time or two in his head then looked at the rider again. "Alright, J'dol, answer me a few things. Just bear with me okay?" He leveled his gaze with the younger man's, keeping his voice fairly reasonable. "When she's scared, what do you do? When she's not feeling well, what do you do? When she's confused or wrong, what do you do, even if you know she's wrong but she insists she's right? What about when she's feeling pride over some silly thing, or worried about something so tiny and insignificant, what about when she's just needing you to hold her because she doesn't know what to feel?"

He let the topazrider listen for a moment and then continued. "Now....how is that any different than what you'd do with a kid? You know how to love someone, how to at least care for them and make them happy. I can attest to that you're protective and you're patient, personally I don't see why you're so worried. In case you were wondering, she did already tell me. Told me a few days after she found out actually. You know what she told me? She said its her fault, that she should have broken it to you easier. And guilt, it just means you care....it hurts and it can make your insides feel like they're turning into soup and knots all at once, but it's normal for anyone who's looking out for someone else."

He sighed, shaking his head. "When was the last time you even talked to her....really talked to her? Because when you had that little twerp, the kid that went missing with her mom.....she was proud of you. She said that was the first time, seeing Iirla and her 'mate with their daughter and holding that little girl herself that you had been watching, it was the first time she could see it being okay. For once stop worrying kid.....listen to her, I swear by Faranth I think that dragon of hers is a Gold in disguise sometimes.....besides Baby girl's having her own baby....bet you haven't even asked her what she was thinking of naming it. You know she's been thinking of that too right, what it will look like? I hope it has her eyes."

Sevrin shook his head, his own eyes closing.

[Zirin]

"I came here because for some stupid reason things always seem to work out when I drink with you," He admitted. Well, half admitted. Truth be told he found he was beginning to trust Sevrin more and more since he had lost Cozyrith. He couldn't quite explain it, but maybe it was because Sevrin didn't hide his dislike of the topazrider; he didn't try to soften the blows or suck up to him. It was... Well, Sevrin was becoming the best friend J'dol didn't have, in a strange way. Not that J'dol would ever outright admit that he held any fondness for Sevrin.

"Well it's not like I had a mother to give me any more siblings," He replied sadly before letting the man begin rambling on. "I... Y-... H-" He kept trying to butt in, though Sevrin continued to ramble on with his questions. He rolled over in the chair, taking on a rather uncomfortable position as he listened. Of course, finding out that Ara had told the man about it made J'dol bury his head in the arm of the chair. Shards and shells the man already knew? How much did he know?! Did he know they had kind of fought that day? This was just not going well at all!

"But look how often I end up upsetting her!" He finally exclaimed, taking another swig, "I spend every day thinking I'm going to mess up.. what if i really do? Like.. really really do. What if the kid hates me?!" In the end, that was what it boiled down to. He really couldn't handle the idea of having a child hate him, of being a thorn in the kids side. "She shouldn't feel guilty... I was just... it was a long day..." He had no excuses for how he had snapped at her. Shards he couldn't even get that much right!

"We talk..." He replied with a mumble, knowing full well what Sevrin actually meant. "I don't... I'm afraid to bring up anything relating to the baby... I don't want her getting upset again. What if..." He took a deep breath. He couldn't believe he was actually going to admit this to the man, "I'm scared alright? I don't want to ever see her freaked out like she was that day. I... Shards... what if I mess up and lose her?!" He stopped his whining for a moment to look at Sevrin in shock. Ara hadn't mentioned anything to him about names or looks or...

His eyes narrowed a little at Sevrin's final words, something about the thought making him twitch possessively. The thought was there in his mind now though... a baby forming in his head. He had never thought about looks before... would it look like her? Like him? WOuld it be a boy or a girl, would it have his charm and her wits?

"Her eyes..." He mumbled, his own eyes taking a rather awestruck look as a soft smile spread across his face. "And her smile... her wonderful, breathtaking, smile..." A smile he felt like he hadn't seen in forever. He sat up slowly, his thoughts clearly still distracted by whatever was going on in his head. "It was her smile you know... it was the first thing I fell for..." His voice was barely more than a whisper then, as if he was going back all those Turns.

"Sevrin..." His tone was more serious than ever, as the smile fell from his face, only to be replaced with a strange mix of worry and fear. "If... If something ever happens to me would you..." Look after her...? He couldn't finished the thought out loud, amazed he would even ask the man who was supposed to be his enemy. Was there something in this wine?

[Wish]

Well, it's about shardin' time kid.

The older man seemed to relax viseably as J'dol finally started spilling, well, everything. It took a bit, but when you got through to the Topazrider, you really got through to him. Alyara just was always too afraid, just like he was, to ever get down that deep. Sevrin, well Sevrin could care less about whether or not his relationship with the rider was ruined, as long as he got through the bs that he tried to put up as walls. A small smile, the same one that had come when he thought of the Greenrider's eyes, grew even more as J'dol mentioned them as well.

Was he really feeling this, no not J'dol, but Sevrin? Was he actually...bad, not going there Sev you old goat! Sighing he rubbed his face, letting the hand drop near his lap as he listened to the younger man go on. "Yeah kid, yeah I'll look after them." Not her, them. "Look, all I know is if she stuck around all this time, she can deal with the little pranks you pull and the worry. She's just as scared as you are, stop thinking it's a bad thing and realize it's something you can get over together because you both know you two are only scared because you care"

He scratched his head absentmindedly, Kaya wrapping around his wrist possessively as she realized the other man was not yet leaving and was not giving her attention either. Chittering she glared at J'dol, apparently no different in her dislike of the man as Ara's Aries was. "Looks like you have a habit of female flits not liking you kid." Sevrin rubbed the orange eye-ridges, trailing his fingertips across her thin wings as well. "Jarali...it's the name she thought of if it was a little girl. Jarali. She wanted so badly to talk to you about it, to talk to anyone about it, so she came to me. Just like you did."

[Zirin]

Part of it was that J'dol really just needed someone to ramble to, someone who he wouldn't somehow offend or upset with his words. Sevrin was certainly that man, but the large quantity of wine J'dol was downing was definitely helping his willingness to spill his feelings. He seemed to relax now that he had gotten just about everything off his chest. He felt better, calmer, and for a moment he wondered why he had been worried in the first place. Of course, despite Sevrin's 'reassurances' he knew he'd still be a nervous wreck for a long while. Maybe he'd be a little better at hiding his nervousness from Ara though.

He glanced back towards the door, half expecting Ara to just bolt in like she seemed so good at doing. But it didn't look like she was there... thank Faranth. He wanted to be able to talk to her without Sevrin's help this time! Feeling suddenly childish, J'dol stuck his tongue out at the little topaz.

"She IS just like her namesake, that's just freaky... and for your information my green liked me just fine." It was still strange to see the older man being so... soft, so gentle... especially with one of the 'mutant' colours that he had seemed so against not long before. It was strange, but J'dol liked the change. He liked this soft, helpful Sevrin with his harsh words and good intentions. If only they could have gotten along like this before... maybe things would have been different.

"Jarali...?" The name rolled off his tongue in a way that just seemed magical. It was so strange it was... He took another swig of the wine before grabbing another skin and tossing it at Sevrin. For a drinking night the other man surely wasn't drinking enough. "I never thought about having a family before, you know... but now... it's unbelievable." He paused and let the new gulp of wine work its way into his system. This had been a good idea.

"Thanks, Sevrin." He finally spoke again, "I'm sorry for barging in and everything... must not be easy dealing with me like this... but I appreciate it. Really."

[Wish]

"Eh, greens like you. Sub-Queens and Queens don't then...except for Kayath at least, I think. I'm sure even she gets tired of you sometimes though." He grabbed the tossed skin, taking another gulp and then setting it down, preferring to keep a clear head this time. Instead of leaving it there and going by that decision though, he quickly changed it as the rider repeated the child's name. Well, that certainly cut a bit now didn't it? He pulled the skin back toward him tipping his head back and taking a sharding good portion down into his gullet. Yeah, need to get drunk, that would be good. Then I don't have to worry about this sort of thing.

"Yeah, that's what she said. Jara for short or somethin' like that. I don't know, and I don't remember if she mentioned a boy's name." He actually did, he just didn't want to say so. "Yeah pretty shardin' unbelievable kid. So, does that mean you might actually like the idea now? Like I said, don't think of it as you suddenly having a commitment to her and the kid. Think of it as doing something with her, and meanwhile...it's sort of a red flag to everyone else. Guys don't touch girls who're taken like that....at least I don't. Don't think you would have either, then again the rep I've heard about you might suggest otherwise."

He leaned back, hoping to Faranth that maybe J'dol would understand what he was saying to him. "Don't worry about it kid.....she does it plenty too, I'm just your middle man I guess. Better than getting a good night's sleep anyway, much more entertaining." He sighed and shook his head, drinking another swig of the wine before coughing slightly and drinking again. "So, why she worryin' about some bluerider?" Sevrin raised an eyebrow at the topazrider as he spoke.

[Zirin]

"You sure know how to make a man feel good about himself," J'dol replied, the sarcasm heavy in his voice. "Kayath always likes me," There was a slightly smile to his face however. Flap off idiot. I won't like you until you're back here with me and my eggs. She broadcasted to both men. J'dol merely rolled his eyes and glanced back at the young flit. "Maybe if I spoil your gorgeous Kaya she'll grow to like me hmm?" He thought briefly of his blues, wondering if they would get along with the sub-queen. Of course, simply thinking of his energetic blue caused the flit in question to pop in, chittering wildly and, as per usual, immediately latched himself onto Sevrin's face. J'dol simply chuckled.

"Spazz come here you twat." He called before smiling nervously, "I don't... I guess I might not dislike the idea... One chat with you isn't going to fix all my fears you know. Although, you're wrong about the comittment... Once that baby is born... I'll never abandon them." He ran a hand through his hair slowly as he took another swig. He certainly was feeling better about it now, and he knew he would force himself to have the courage to talk to her about everything. Sev's gossip did make him chuckle though. "Hey, if I'm not mistaken, you came onto MY girl that night," He winked. Truth be told, he didn't particularly care what the gossip about him was, but he supposed he should clear that particular one up with the ex-rider. "Yet another surprise for you Sev, I only go... only went after the single ones." Another swig made him feel even better, though Sevrin also managed to tear him down and make him feel guilty.

"You know, I may be Weyrlord but this is still your home. You could have kicked me out. and don't drink so fast if you're going to choke on it idiot. I thought you could handle your wine." He shot a questioning glance at Sevrin. The last time they had drunk together, the dragonless man had been a lot more relaxed about drinking. Was he sick, or was he just drinking too fast? Why? "She's worrying about R'vin?" Now that made him sit up slightly, his eyes glancing to where Spazz was skittering along the walls before moving to flop over the edge of the bed, not caring if it made Sevrin uncomfortable; the chair had been starting to hurt his bad.

"He's a cutie, much more fun than you at night. He's coming to terms with some things... I... Well I just hope he can find someone to be happy with..." Thinking of R'vin really did make him feel guilty. He was glad the bluerider was slowly opening up about who he really was... but to have found out after Turns that he, J'dol, had played a major part in that? It made the topazrider wish he had spent more time with R'vin over the Turns.

"What about you Sev? You're always the one asking questions, it's about time you start answering. Are you hopping back into the dating scene?"

[Wish]

The appearance of the blue firelizard was less that expected, and Sevrin jerked backwards as it attached itself to his face for a moment. Kaya automatically started to trill out sharp and angry notes, her wings flaring as she hissed. This was Hers, no one else's! The blue could flap off and get His own instead! As that happened though, the jealousy switched from the blue taking away Hers, to the other man taking away the blue. Her Blue! Trilling again she tottered to the edge of Sevrin's bed and flapped her wings, chirping at the spastic creature.

"That still doesn't explain why she's worried though J'dol, and I didn't choke...just coughed." He took another swig easier this time to prove his point. "You're changing the subject kid. Not liking where it's going either." A wary glance was thrown J'dol's way as he flopped onto the bed, naturally disturbing the orange firelizard so that she took to the air and cheeped at him numerous times before landing on J'dol's back. Sevrin, unlike the Topazrider, had no qualms with letting his flit say "hello" to another person. Especially if that meant distracting the other rider for a while.

"So, he's finally deciding he likes guys...and naturally she's worried that you'll decide you miss them a little too much, is that it? There's something else though, she's been....antsy lately, and I doubt it has anything to do with the hormones and all that. Did you hear about the sighting; there was a Garnetrider, not ours, near the Weyr. I wonder if she knew him...some say they saw a Green out there near the area at the same time. Others say it was another color or that there wasn't one at all." The older man prodded at the rider verbally, hoping to not only change the subject but get information. He had a certain greenrider that was terrified of her 'mate learning a bit too much about her past, and by Faranth he'd make sure J'dol was put on a more....innocent path if he could.

Sev gritted his teeth, mentally cursing the rebellion before taking another drink. He had hated them before, then been indifferent, and now he was back to a disklike...for an entirely different reason though.

[Zirin]

"Well she spills all her secrets to you, not me." There was an almost bitter tone to his voice as he replied. In truth, J'dol worried about the things Ara didn't tell him. He wished she would trust him enough to talk about it. He stetched out as the topaz came to investigate him, and he held out a hand, offering to rub her if she desired. "Well hello beautiful," He cooed to her softly, wondering just how similar to his dragon she was. Spazz soon came back to investigate, chirping an energetic greeting and scurrying around.

"I'll be completely honest with you. I miss men, I do. I miss the thrill of seeing a man beneath me." His expression hardened. "I'll continue to miss it for a long time no doubt, but she's mine and I'm hers and that's that. I'm more likely to be jumped and ravished by you then leave her for anyone else." He sighed as the Rebellion found its way into the conversation. Oh how he loathed that group. Yes, he supported what they wanted, but he really hated them anyways.

"Now who's changing the subject," he groaned, not at all wanting to even think about it. He HAD heard the rumors, and it certainly didn't make him happy. "Every strain of the rumor is different. Some even go so far as to say it's a wing of garnets. One of the rumors even claim it was Avirith." He glanced at Sevrin from the corner of his eye. He didn't necessarily trust the rumor, but it didn't mean he couldnt be curious. "I just hope this isn't going to lead to anything big... we're just starting to get our feet under us again.